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Yes I Really Remember Being 9 Months Old And It Was Beautiful

Toni Tails
2 min readNov 1, 2019

This is what the world looks like to a baby

photo by Ukar — purchased by the author

A lot of people find it hard to believe that I remember what it was like to be 9 months old, but it’s true! Below is one of my earliest memories.

I was in a world of white. The floors were white and shiny. When big people walked by, I saw their reflections hanging onto their soles like ghosts. I thought they were all part of the being, clapping shoes together with every step.

I could see white walls all around me and a white tray beneath me. I felt the cold ground on my bare feet, and I knew if I pushed my feet against the floor, I could move. I saw an open door and moved as fast as I could.

It was exhilarating!

I wasn’t looking at anything anymore. I was wrapped in the warm thrill of moving fast. I ran and ran until something stopped me with a jolt.

I had run into something big and dark.

I looked up slowly, and what I saw dazzled me.

Colors and lights jumped everywhere. And it was huge. I couldn’t see the top of this magical thing.

This memory has lived in my mind for forty years. As I grew older, I was able to give names to some of what I saw. However, for a long…

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Toni Tails
Toni Tails

Written by Toni Tails

CEO of Toni Tails Design | Published Author & Illustrator| Body Positive Graphic Artist | Autism Mama | Survivor of Child Sex Abuse | PTSD ADHD Queer | she/her

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